coordination

5 times the workplace can be an absolute nightmare for women

These are some of my examples, all of which have happened to me in my years during/since college. It is absolutely disgusting how women are treated by this systemic sexism.

1. It was (basically) unspoken, but expected that I would take out the trash.

At one of my much older jobs, the trash was the job of everyone in the office. Or at least, so I was told. I was the only female and when I would start to take out my own trash, the others would say, “Oh, can you grab mine too?” Otherwise, it would just sit there piling up endlessly.

Eventually, I started taking my trash out when no one else was there so I wouldn’t be tricked into taking everyone’s out. While this might have not had to do with gender, the males should have been aware of what was happening. They were slobs, too.

2. I was paid 50% of what my male counterparts were making. 

I was paid a sickeningly low amount at one of my old jobs. I started the job needing it to graduate from college because it was part of the program. I was a full time, day employee with the same skills as the males. I was performing the same work. I had always assumed we all made low amounts, but one day I was informed what one of the males was making. It was double what I was making, and I was told we didn’t have enough money to pay anyone that much.

3. I was forced into being the receptionist.

Two different jobs. I was forced into being a receptionist in two different jobs. NO males were ever asked nor forced into it. I had even asked this question in both jobs, several times, and the answers were either evasive or that ‘the owner likes a woman to sit up front’ and that he is a ‘traditional man’. I was hired to do other work in both jobs, and both times it was also my duty to sit at the receptionist desk. I was performing very well at what I was hired to do, and don’t get me wrong – I still had those duties too, but I was also assigned the job as a receptionist (against my will). I fought it, requested formally by letters and e-mail, and was still made to do this job.

4. Males hush other males who swear and say ‘there’s a lady in the room’

This is something that doesn’t offend me. I have no problem when men swear because I swear too. I feel immediately uncomfortable when people feel the need to call attention to my gender and then stop talking. YET – moving onto #5, this type of conversation is never okay:

5. Males start having open conversations saying things like “Women should have to take a test to have a baby” and use the excuse that I was a ‘cool’ female who was able to hang with the guys as to why they would say such things in front of me.

I overhead many conversations like this at an old job. Most of the comments were by people in positions higher/much higher than mine. I ended up leaving this company, combined with reason #2, and demanding to be paid what I was actually worth. We settled in mediation and I was financially reimbursed.

xx Nicki

Why ADHD should be your best friend

Let me start off by saying I am not a doctor. I was, however, diagnosed with ADHD several years ago and with therapy, I’ve come to find out that I’ve always displayed the traits of ADHD since childhood.

I’ll say it: I don’t think ADHD is a disability. It is if you try to fit into the corporate 9-5 world, then sure, I suppose it might be. Trying to force yourself to get up, get ready, and do the same routine every day is exasperatingly mind numbing and down right difficult. For some, it’s peace of mind having structure and routine. For me, it’s torture.

I’m not sure I even believe ADHD is a medical problem – I just see it as more of a personality type. As Einstein notably said, “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

America runs on the corporate structure and admonishes those with opposing personalities. I’m a hard worker and I did excellent in school – but it came at a price: time. I spent most of my time trying to get myself to focus on the task at hand, eating up my free time to do anything else. While others were outside playing, I was inside getting my work done (and not because I couldn’t understand it, but because I couldn’t get myself to just finish it).

We try to quell our opposing personalities with medications and therapies, but really, we should be embracing them and setting ourselves up for success.

We are driven, as a country, by a need to classify ourselves and establish hierarchies and relationships. Because of this, we ended up with the corporate ladder – a vertical movement that does not support lateral movement. It’s all about who is your boss and who you boss. We can never break those bonds and move laterally because the corporate world does not support that. We will always earn and spend at the same ratio. We will always have the same societal pulls. It will always be a struggle, because it’s supposed to be.

Those with jobs other than the typical 9-5 corporate jobs are often looked at as the ones who weren’t successful in school. I can personally think of several examples of people who went into different fields, worked under a different structure, and benefitted more.

The startup world is filled with people like this – people like Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, etc. These are people who just didn’t operate as well in a pre-established structure and defined their own that worked for them.

If the corporate world wasn’t meant for you and you are scared to drop it completely for fear of paying the bills, then try taking on a hobby that supports your personality. You will most likely find that you are excelling. The key, though, is to monetize it, set it, and forget it during your 9-5 job. Let your side project generate revenue while you are at work and do the upkeep after work. It’s not a quick, easy thing, though: it takes time, creativity, and dedication.

xx Nicki

What your makeup (or lack thereof) says about you

Beauty rituals are for more than just the stereotypical ‘basic’ female. Something can be said for the person (male or female) who understands that their appearance speaks towards both their outer and inner personality.

An old saying goes, generally passed from female to female, is that the way a man (or woman – but that’s not the saying) treats a waitress or waiter is how he will someday treat you. It’s the unconscious outlook towards something that speaks louder than the words themselves.

The same can be said for appearances. It’s not necessary to be in perfect shape or wear perfectly tailored clothing to show you put in time and effort into how you are perceived. Even something as simple as a little makeup that accentuates your features favorably shows you are conscientious and can make beneficial decisions towards a better whole.

Something I heard when I worked in retail was the ‘third piece’ of the outfit concept. There’s the bottoms (pants) and the tops (shirts, etc.) Then theres the final touch – the accent jewelry, the cardigan, the hat – whatever. It’s that final step one takes in completing the task… but mostly, it’s the ability to coordinate individual items into a harmonious, tied-together whole. It’s being able to start with scratch and imagine an outcome from nothing. Those are the kinds of things that make a person stand out – not how much makeup you wear, but how you wear it. Even if you wear none, doing so in a meaningful way can still work for you.

Sites like Reddit have subreddits called Makeup Addiction. While the name appears to dwell obsessively over cosmetics, the subreddit serves as an inclusive forum for anyone with the desire to learn more about makeup. Users can post images of themselves and ask for kind, constructive feedback. Text based posts can do the same – asking about products, etc. With the ability to accept that there is always room to grow, and with the mindset ‘always surround yourself with smarter people’ you can step up your game and really make a difference in how you come across to others and yourself.

xx Nicki