5 times the workplace can be an absolute nightmare for women

These are some of my examples, all of which have happened to me in my years during/since college. It is absolutely disgusting how women are treated by this systemic sexism.



1. It was (basically) unspoken, but expected that I would take out the trash.

At one of my much older jobs, the trash was the job of everyone in the office. Or at least, so I was told. I was the only female and when I would start to take out my own trash, the others would say, “Oh, can you grab mine too?” Otherwise, it would just sit there piling up endlessly.

Eventually, I started taking my trash out when no one else was there so I wouldn’t be tricked into taking everyone’s out. While this might have not had to do with gender, the males should have been aware of what was happening. They were slobs, too.



2. I was paid 50% of what my male counterparts were making. 

I was paid a sickeningly low amount at one of my old jobs. I started the job needing it to graduate from college because it was part of the program. I was a full time, day employee with the same skills as the males. I was performing the same work. I had always assumed we all made low amounts, but one day I was informed what one of the males was making. It was double what I was making, and I was told we didn’t have enough money to pay anyone that much.



3. I was forced into being the receptionist.

Two different jobs. I was forced into being a receptionist in two different jobs. NO males were ever asked nor forced into it. I had even asked this question in both jobs, several times, and the answers were either evasive or that ‘the owner likes a woman to sit up front’ and that he is a ‘traditional man’. I was hired to do other work in both jobs, and both times it was also my duty to sit at the receptionist desk. I was performing very well at what I was hired to do, and don’t get me wrong – I still had those duties too, but I was also assigned the job as a receptionist (against my will). I fought it, requested formally by letters and e-mail, and was still made to do this job.



4. Males hush other males who swear and say ‘there’s a lady in the room’

This is something that doesn’t offend me. I have no problem when men swear because I swear too. I feel immediately uncomfortable when people feel the need to call attention to my gender and then stop talking. YET – moving onto #5, this type of conversation is never okay:



5. Males start having open conversations saying things like “Women should have to take a test to have a baby” and use the excuse that I was a ‘cool’ female who was able to hang with the guys as to why they would say such things in front of me.

I overhead many conversations like this at an old job. Most of the comments were by people in positions higher/much higher than mine. I ended up leaving this company, combined with reason #2, and demanding to be paid what I was actually worth. We settled in mediation and I was financially reimbursed.

xx Nicki

“What Football and Scandal Have in Common”

Like any other aspiring hipster, I read obscure blogs on the internet. Recently, I fell in love with Notes from the Broken Hearted.

The anonymous writer pours heart out for her followers to read. Most recently, she posted an article that I knew I had to share on Head Bitches in Charge. So I contacted the writer. For this blog’s sake we will call her “Jane.”

“What Football and Scandal Have in Common” is a personal perspective by Jane on feminine activities versus masculine activities and how we can compromise those in relationships. We don’t have to give up what we enjoy or be defensive towards things that are not “appropriate” for our gender.

Give it a read, I seriously recommend it. While you’re at it, check out the rest of Jane’s posts. Grab a glass of red wine and prepare for an emotional roller coaster.

Haaave you met Ted?

tumblr_m9y3deAgOa1rq1oz3o1_500If you’re talking/dating (what does “talking to someone even mean” ?!?) just pause and think about how it all started. Where did you meet? How did you communicate those first few months?

In the days of our parents, they had a few options: they met up in person to talk/get to know one another or they spoke on the phone. They were able to focus on each other and it was raw; it was just the two of them. No collaborative text messages or Tinder replies.

People today are so afraid to expose themselves to other people. We huddle around our friend’s phone when “he” texts her and all give our two cents on what her response should be and what emoji she should send, if any. Are we really getting to know one another if it’s actually two groups behind phones or computers? Employers have said our generation is bad with face-to-face interaction during interviews and it resonates into our personal relationship building skills. Are you getting to know her, or her entire group of friends as one voice?

This technology barrier gives false impressions more often than not. Our parents didn’t spend hours with their friends carefully crafting responses to suitors. They responded in real time and it seems to have turned out okay.

Just show up in a trench coat and play music from your boom box for me so I know it’s real.

l8r sk8rs,

Justine

We’re all in this together. (cue the coordinated dance scene.)

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If you know that Ashton Kutcher isn’t a band, I’m sure you’re aware of the movie Mean Girls. Ms. Norbury, played by Tina Fey, states the seemingly obvious.

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Why are we calling each other sluts and whores? (Along with many other things.) It turns out that Tina Fey wasn’t just trying to make a cult comedy, but had a point to emphasize from the book she adapted the plot from (Queen Bees and Wannabees.)I’m not going to bore you with the endless questions Tina Fey asks the girls of North Shore High and the questions I’m sure girls wonder daily. We females are on the same team. As Troy Bolton and the rest of the Wildcats from High School Musical sings and dances, we’re all in this together. Knocking me down only brings you (fellow female) down too. Maybe not directly, but in the long run you are hurting girls everywhere. You’re perpetuating the endless cycle you hate. Instead of thinking when the next guy hurts you “Would he treat his sister this way?” think “Would I be happy if my daughter put up with this bull shit?” NO.

We can fight the problem of being put down as a sex by starting with ourselves. As the late Michael Jackson sang, “I’m starting with the [wo]man in the mirror.. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change.” This all sounds cliche, but quit making the guy population of society our scape goat for our inner self loathing. It’s a cliche for a reason. You think you’re winning by putting me down as a “stupid bitch?” Well, you just scored on your own team, in the goal you’re trying to protect. Welcome to soccer for five year olds.

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I’m not saying we should all live in a world where we bake cakes from rainbows and smiles and we’d all eat it and be happy. But we sure as hell can make it a little less mean.

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l8r sk8rs,
Justine