Transcending Gender

My husband kind of clued me in a couple years ago that I am what some might consider a feminist in ideals.

We talked about it, and yes, in some ways, I am. I would consider myself more an advocate for equality and for cultivating powerful women. It might be because I hate pity, and I never want to see someone pitied. Pity is worse than hate or any other feeling towards another person.

I watch too many women perpetuate what is so pitiful about being weak and submissive. I hate when a woman is scared to talk to a man, or anyone for that matter. I hate when someone is scared to do for his or her self.

There is a difference between a woman who is trying to act tough and a woman who is tough. You notice a woman who tries to act tough, and you see that she is over compensating. You can’t help but to feel that she is out of place and is trying to ‘fake it until she makes it’ in the world – but does she ever really?

You don’t notice a woman who is rightly powerful – you don’t think about her gender so much, and when you do, you think about it in an accepting, almost loving way. You don’t think she is out of her playing field and you will respect and listen to her. She just belongs because she transcends gender.

She transcends gender. 

I consider myself feminine, but I also love to do things that are not. I just like to do… things… that interest me. I enjoy putting on makeup and doing my nails. I enjoy all of that. But I like masculine things, too.

I have done my share of studying and working hard. I earn my paycheck. I have pursued additional education. I am capable.

My husband cooks and cleans and does laundry better than I do. I’m motherly to our pets. We both drive standard cars. He loves hunting and fishing. I love doing sports. There’s a lot of gender role reversals in our marriage, as well as normalities. BECAUSE NO ONE FITS A MOLD. Society has molds designed for us that are largely unattainable. And to perpetuate them is sad, especially in this day and age.

As a little girl, I was called bossy all the time by boys. I was probably bossy to a certain level, as any kid can be, as any boy can be. Sometimes bossy is just that – bossy. But there were times I was treated like I was being bitchy and bossy because I was taking charge and standing up for my views. An argumentative woman is a bitch.

I’ve never been one who handles being controlled well. I do not stand for being walked all over. If I am being used, I rebel. I’ve tried in the past, admittedly, to change. But my inner conscience gets the better of me, and I have no desire to change anymore.

I once had a group of friends who were not treating me well. I ended up standing my ground, which labeled me a bitch. I did not cave. I attempted to work a solution several times, without folding on my stance, but because I didn’t agree to their view, I was in the wrong. (Believe me, sometimes I am wrong… but on this, I do not think I was.)

I was labeled many hurtful things.

I will never be sorry for standing up for myself. I will never be sorry for not being submissive. I will always fight back when I am being wronged.

If you don’t like me as I am, it’s okay. There’s over 6 billion people in this world, and one view is irrelevant. Plenty of other people will take me as I am.

xx Nicki

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